These Words
by Yureii
Summary: Chapter Six, They're watching: Mulder begins to have dreams which convince him that someone- or something- is watching he and Scully in their secluded home. Please review!
1. I WANT TO BELIEVE

**These Words **

Scully watched him for a long moment. How beautiful he was when he slept, off in his own little dream world. She wondered what was in that world. Was there extraterrestrials? Or... normal things? Surely not, considering who his father is, Scully thought with some amusement. Poor baby probably dreams about conspiracies. Would he, somehow, someday, dream of normal things?

How she longed to know in her coldest nights alone. Now they could only get lonelier. She'd had a good future ahead of her nine years before... all this. Now, she had no choice but to give up her baby for adoption and Mulder was gone. All she would have then was the FBI. There was no way of knowing if Mulder was dead or alive, well or ill.

She looked down at William. Did babies really dream at all? Surely they did. They would often awaken in fear of something, something in their nightmares that adults probably didn't understand. This was something Scully knew she would never understand those things. She wished that Mulder were with her, to help her raise their child. He might understand William's dreams and his unearthly abilities.

Mulder, she missed him so much. Some days, William was all she had to live for now that Mulder was gone.

She sighed and stepped away from the crib. Would William ever know the world of his father? The world that the FBI had pushed her into? And the world Mulder had kept her in.

But, she wasn't quite sure where it had truly begun. And now, after nine years where she and her partner had created such a powerful bond that she hadn't been sure how she was going to live on when Mulder was first abducted, and again when he had been forced to go into hiding. It might have been the FBI who had pushed her to the X-files, but if it hadn't been for Mulder, she never would have stayed. And she just wasn't sure why. But she was sure of it.

She sat down and turned on the TV. It was on the sci-fi channel. She didn't remember watching that channel recently, and sometimes it made her sad, but she decided to watch it anyway, mostly out of the laziness in her that didn't even want to grab the remote and change the channel. On the screen, there was a man, tall and dark.

"Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life?"

The man's voice became Mulder's, and Scully closed her eyes. In her mind, she went back in time to the first moment where she had entered the X-files office. One of the first things she saw was the poster.

On it, there was a UFO hanging in the sky, and below it there were these words:

**I WANT TO BELIEVE**


	2. Trust No One

**Trust No One**

Dana Scully was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering where the noise has gone. That comforting noise she had grown so accustomed to. But she knew, yes, she knew where the noise had gone. And now there was nothing. Nothing at all.

She had once had the luxury of listening to Mulder's soft breathing as he slept next to her. When he left, she had gotten over it by listening to William. Now he was gone, and, like before, she was all alone. Tears came to her eyes, and she rolled over onto her stomach and buried her head into her pillow. She shook as she cried into it, ready to scream; anything to make the pain go away. _Why? Why did it have to be that way? _She screamed in her mind. _Why did they both have to go?_

And William- he would never even remember her. That made her even sadder and the pain more excruciating. Her baby would never even remember her. He would think she didn't want him, that she didn't love him, and she would never see him, because he would never know the truth. She didn't even know where he was.

She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed into her pillow. _Please God. Please bring Mulder back to me. I'll go into medicine; I'll save people, like you wanted in the first place. Please don't leave me all alone. _

She was just about to pray for William's protection when a thought occurred to her; what if she had made the wrong choice? What if whoever now had her son couldn't protect him? More tears came to her eyes. _God, please protect my son, please let him know that I love him, and that his father loves him. But most of all please protect him. _But her mind didn't believe that even God could answer that prayer.

She's entrusted her son to people she didn't know, people she had never even met once, because she'd thought that they could protect him better than she. She had thought that she could send him somewhere where they couldn't find him. People she had never met now had what she loved most, and they had her full trust.

But she knew, as she thought of it; if there really were people who wanted to kill William, they could find him, no matter where he was sent. And who was to know who these people were? Dana Scully sat up and began beating her pillow. She could hardly see it through her tears. When she stopped, a sudden stop, she collapsed on her bed, once again staring at the roof, her face wet with tears.

Always, her past was right there, and she could look at all her mistakes, knowing which ones were the worst. This one was the worst. Dana Scully slowly and gingerly got out of her bed, and knelt on the floor beside it. She clasped her hands together in prayer, and rested them on the bed, like she had when she was a child.

_Oh God, please protect William. Please make sure he is with good, no, great people, who will love him as a son. Please be sure I made the right choice. Let him know, somehow, that we love him. Let him know the good things in the world. Please protect him... please..._

But words, as always, resonated in her mind, even as she prayed to God for her son. Always, there were words. Just words, but the words were so strong that she could not suppress them.

Trust no one.


	3. The Truth Is Out There

**So, I guess that since people seem to like my stories, I'd keep going – THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!! Seriously, it makes me feel so special lol. :D:D **

**P.S. I'm going to be changing the synopsis every time I write a chapter, but the title's going to stay the same. **

**The Truth is Out There**

Mulder had spent his life working on the X Files. In one way or another, it had been his life's work, everything he lived for. When Dana Scully met him almost nine years before, she could see its importance to him, even if she couldn't always see what he did. But, then, the X Files was just a job. Just her job, they could never consume her. She thought.

When she met him, he was her colleague. When she met him, he had already been so consumed with the strange, the unknown. It was his life. But, as she went back, Scully remembered. It was a job. Nothing that could hurt too much. Of course, risks were taken in the F.B.I. whether one was investigating the X Files or sitting at a desk, but the X Files couldn't be too risky. It was just a bunch of old files of discarded cases. Things that everyone else at the Bureau had given up on since the opening of the F.B.I.

She was sent to debunk the X Files. That was the main purpose that 'they' had in mind. But, to Scully, she was just there to solve the case, like any other at the Bureau. Perhaps, then, they had chosen a good candidate. Yes, perhaps, when she thought of it seriously, she had. A scientific, sceptical mind. The perfect kind of person to take down the X Files. She could debunk them. Surely they wouldn't consume her. She was perfectly chosen; she had a level mind and she didn't believe the things that didn't make sense.

But no, the X Files had consumed her just as much as they had consumed Mulder. She could have quit at any time. Any moment there could have been her last. Mulder didn't need her; she was just holding him back. How many times had she told him? Only for him to reply that he needed her.

And it was never a lie.

But there was something else, Scully realised after so many years alone. Alone, with her eyes to the skies, looking for extraterrestrials, just like Mulder. Surely, it was only a matter of time before she bought goldfish and started sleeping on the couch. She thought of it with a little chuckle.

There was something out there. Something she wanted to know as much as Mulder. She had wanted to find it so badly right from the moment where she realised that she had indeed been sent to the X Files for a purpose she didn't like. When she realised that she was a pawn within a conspiracy. She wanted to know why; why they did these things. She wanted to know who had killed her sister. She wanted to know who had led Mulder- and herself- to madness within the X Files.

She wanted to know the truth. And she knew, as she never gave up on the X Files. It was out there, somewhere, waiting for her.

***

Mulder awoke suddenly, a nightmare awaking him for the third night in a row.

It was a horrible dream, and he could never shake it. Every single night, for the last three nights, he had the same dreams and it always held the same fear and the same sadness. It always began as a good dream. He was with Scully, and William. They were together, out of the city, living on an acreage somewhere, where it was peaceful and where the darkness couldn't find them. William was happy and growing, healthy. They were together. All was well.

But suddenly, just as the dreams started to seem good, 'they' came. They came right to the house while they were eating dinner, just finishing the quick prayer that Dana insisted upon. They came and they pulled his son and his wife away from him, forcing him to a corner. And he, paralyzed, stayed in the corner, and watched helplessly as they dragged the two people he loved most away. He tried to move; tried to run to them, to protect them from this horrible evil. This terrible darkness. But these faceless men would never let him go, keeping him there as if held down by a spell. Dana cried, screamed for his help. But he couldn't move.

But he was helpless.

And then they were gone.

And he awoke a nightmare for the third night in a row.

He thought about it constantly. There was nothing else to do. He was trying to continue his work from where he was, but it was difficult; he was in hiding. In hiding so he could protect Dana and William...

_Right? _He thought. But then, after a moment, there was an answer in his own head, but not his voice. Perhaps it was Dana's god, reaching out to him? Whoever it was, he didn't like the answer. _Wrong, _it told him.

Tears came to his eyes. He couldn't wait- but it felt like he had an eternity left to go, waiting in hiding. Waiting for eternity before he saw them again. If he never did, he would have to just curl up and die. They were all he had left. Them and the X Files. But the X Files were gone, and he was hiding in a hole.

Gibson Praise came to him. "I was just contacted by someone... I'm not sure who. Someone who said he was from the F.B.I."

Mulder's heart skipped a beat. Maybe there was something after all, something he could cling to, at least for now. Maybe it was Dana, telling him he could come back to D.C. "Man or woman?" he asked.

"Man."

_God damn it! _He cursed in his mind, and he saw Gibson smile. He sighed, remembering that the kid could read minds. "Okay, what did he say?"

"He said his name was Knowle Rohrer."

Then, Mulder knew he had to go. He had to find this man. He knew that he wasn't with the F.B.I. This man was an old friend of Doggett's. An ex-marine, who was now a Super Soldier. Mulder thought for a moment. They were dangling bait in front of him weren't they? Just waiting for him to take it.

But he wanted to- he needed to. He wanted to know why Knowle Rohrer was trying to contact him. He had to find the truth behind all of this.

And then, when he found it, his world would be safe, and he could go back to them, the two people he loved most in the whole world. Gibson looked at him inquiringly. "Are you going to go?" he asked.

"Yes," Mulder replied. "I am. The truth," he added quickly, "is out there."


	4. Deny Everything

**Based largely upon the final episode of the X files series. **

* * *

**Deny Everything**

It was dark in the room where he sat, knowing that he had done the right thing. But, in Mulder's case, very few people agreed with his viewpoints. The dark around him made him think of his life; his darkness which he had carried with him for so many years. Since the night his sister disappeared. And the truth- the truth that had almost destroyed his life- led him to where he was now.

On a cold concrete floor, in a military base, waiting to be tried for the murder of a man who couldn't die.

He'd thought- everyone had thought- that when he found the truth about his sister, he would stop looking. But he didn't. No, he never did. Even when Samantha was found, even when he knew what happened, he just couldn't stop. It was an addiction. He _needed _it. And he kept searching. Now, he was searching for the cleanest place on the floor.

As the bright light came shining through into his cell suddenly, he covered his eyes. The lies were so hard to look at, he though with a chuckle. The only thing that didn't make sense was that in Star Wars, the Dark Side was evil and the Bright Side was good_. It must be an X file on it somewhere_, he mused as the man came closer.

They entered, ready to attack. He came up right to Mulder's face. "What are you thinking?" he demanded. Mulder told him. The truth, of course. The code with which Mulder lived by. The code that controlled him and held him so close- like a lover, like a drug. "WRONG ANSWER!" he yells, and he hits the wall just above Mulder's head, for pure and simple intimidation. _What does he want me to do_? Mulder questions in his mind. _Deny it? Deny it all?_

Of course he does. And if not him personally, someone higher, someone who had this poor bastard wrapped around his finger so tight he would believe anything. "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"

"I'm thinking about getting out of here," Mulder tells him. _Because I won't be like you. I will not just accept it all, and deny the truth which rightfully belongs to us all. _

"WRONG...ANSWER!" he yelled again, and wacked Mulder right in the stomach. Mulder groaned and held his stomach. It wasn't the worst pain he'd ever felt- but it was getting there. Not to mention that he knew it would be the first of many until he denied everything- government conspiracy, extraterrestrials, enigmas- everything. They would force him. They would try. Until he became just like them. Brainwashed. Denying everything.

He left Mulder lying on the ground, and was heading back to the door, leaving the man on the floor, gasping in the pain. On his way out, he yells over his shoulder: "NO SLEEPING."

_Jackass, _Mulder thought as the door closed. _Give me some good magazines or something. A Playboy would be nice, but, hey, I don't ask much. _

On the floor, Mulder lay there, deep in thought, trying to think of a way to get himself out of where he was now. To get himself out of the confinements on lies and conspiracies. There really were days when he missed his basement X files office. It was more like his home than his apartment at times. In the darkness, the truth whirled around him, and he tried to make connections. But he knew they were already there. But the proof was just stupidly hard to find- or even when they had it right in front of their eyes, they just couldn't see the truth. How could Earth be the only planet blessed with life when the universe was so vast? That was a no brainer. _Or so I thought. _

Mulder wasn't a religious man, but he knew that there was something higher than him that might be able to help. Closing his eyes for just a moment, he started to pray. For the truth, for Samantha, for Scully and William. The darkness behind his eyelids was so pure and soothing.

The door opened again, and Mulder realised he had fallen asleep. The man was in his face again- the same brainwashed man- asking him, quietly enough so far. "What are you thinking?"

"About my son... about his mother."

_Let me guess- wrong answer? _The baton hits the wall, less than a centimetre from the top of his head. "What are you thinking?"

"WHAT DO YOU WHAT FROM ME?"

"WRONG...ANSWER."

Mulder rebelled. _I will not deny it. I will not deny it. I will not withhold the truth. _He grabbed the baton and for a moment, there was a long drawn out struggle, as he pressed the baton up against Mulder's neck. "I WANT ANSWERS, YOU HEAR ME? I WANT ANSWERS!"

_Ditto, _Mulder thought as the soldier nearly strangled him with the baton, until he pulled away. _Yeah, you walk away; _he spoke freely in his mind as he gasped for air. _Go tell them there was no violence needed. Deny it. Deny it all. _

He was left in darkness, and eventually, he was stripped of his clothes and just left there; a corpse on the floor. Thoughts came and went. He lay on the floor, but he didn't sleep. Who could? Who would even try? _Maybe I should play along, _he thought eventually. _I know I don't look good in orange... but honestly, for once I miss my clothes._

He prayed again. This time, just for a good joke since God seemed to like those, he prayed for his clothes.

The light blinded him again, and the soldier entered, with the other one this time. "NO SLEEPING!" Mulder flinched, a little embarrassed and a little surprised by the sudden visit. The soldier kicked his over just little, it didn't hurt, but it was humiliating. "Did you hear me?"

_I just want my clothes back... _"Yes," he said. The soldier seemed to like that in almost a sick way.

He knelt closer. "What are you thinking?"

Mulder hesitated. "What should I be thinking?"

"You're a guilty man! You entered a government facility illegally, in search of nonexistent information."

_I hate the policies around here, _Mulder thought. _Even more than the god dammed food. Deny everything._

"YOU FAILED IN EVERY RESPECT!"

Still, Mulder didn't respect the policies. He didn't deny it. He'd failed in every respect.

He repeated those words, telling a complete and utter truth that he didn't like at all either. And he hated himself for it. He shook, trying to hold back the anger.

* * *

Scully walked by Skinner to the place where Mulder was being held. She was afraid to see him; afraid to find him there. He didn't really look good in orange, for starters. She asked Skinner a few questions, and answered the best he could, equally flustered by this event. _Oh Mulder, _she thought. _You always have to go and do something stupid. _

They entered, and she saw him for the first time in what had been a hellish eternity. He looked almost pathetic, the most pathetic he possibly could as he stood there, staring at something that she couldn't see, just as he always had. She wanted to cry already, but she didn't have time and she would never show that weakness. He looked like he was talking to someone.

When he turned she couldn't believe what he was saying to her. And he seemed sincere. Every single word that he said. Every word she knew was completely against the real Mulder's beliefs was spoken with a horrible honesty. He was brainwashed. They had done it. They had done numerous things to Mulder's mind. They had driven him insane, driven him to violence to depression. They had manipulated his thoughts but now- he was completely theirs. And he was being honest. Scully's eyes went glassy with more tears, and she glanced at Skinner, begging silently for help against a man who could not be Mulder.

And then- he excused himself from the conversation and he turned and seemed to talk to that invisible presence again.

They exited the cell. Scully looked at Skinner. "Find out how long he's been there. I need to know."

"They've denied me access to that information, Dana," he told her. "No one will tell me."

She sighed. And she prayed again. For Mulder, for his safety.

She went to see him again, still with Skinner. And for a moment, she thought he really had gone completely crazy. And then, he laughed, and he was the real Mulder again. Scully was relieved. And she wanted slap him.

She didn't want to lose him. Not again. And this time be left with no hope that he would come back? Mulder started to speak. In his old Mulder way, and as serious as it was, and as heightened as her fear was, Scully smiled a little inside. God had answered one prayer. He was still Mulder.

For a moment, that went away when he said "Skinner can defend me."

But she didn't quite lose hope- there might be a chance. There was no body, no evidence. Just testimonies. But, when John Doggett and Monica Reyes entered, she did lose all hope. They had a body. It was impossible, she knew but there was no stopping these men. There was no proving them wrong, even if the proof was right there in front of them. No, no matter what, they would deny it. They would deny it all.

It was one of their main policies; Deny Everything.

Before anything happened, before she lost the chance to see him sane, Scully went to him and woke him up out of a light slumber. Before she did she watched him for a moment, wondering what it was he was dreaming about in that dream world of his. Extraterrestrials? Or something normal? She doubted that.

Tears coming to her eyes, as she thought of William, she bent down to wake him. She had to tell him, she had to have one more moment with him before the possibility of death came too close for her to bear. And she needed this one last chance to know what he knew, because unlike all their time on the X files together, this might be their last chance. Ever.

But he refused. He didn't deny that he knew something she didn't. But he wouldn't talk to her. She didn't understand why. Tears came to her eyes. "You're scaring me Mulder. I'm so scared that I just got you back, only to lose you again." She began to tell him. She had to tell him now, before the trial. But he already knew. Scully missed the days and nights she spent with the X files now. Before all this. But, she never would have guessed, no matter how stupid Mulder became, that he would end up in a prison cell on a military base. It had never crossed her mind that the seemingly immortal Fox William Mulder might one day die because of this obsession that dominated his whole life.

What was she going to do? Without the hope that Mulder might one day knock on her door and tell her that it was all over, that it was safe for them to be together. Now, she didn't even have the hope that he might live another few days.

She cried in his arms. She cried for everything, all of it. She cried because Mulder was most likely at the end of his life, she cried because their son was gone- and they didn't know where he was, or if he was safe. Were the people who took him good people? And she found herself crying about the X files. Her search for the truth that would soon be over. But it never would be- she would just never be able to keep on searching if she didn't have Mulder as a light to guide her. When he was dead, when there was no hope left- then what would she do?

She couldn't deny it- she might just die.

She was Skinner's first witness.

"Please state your name for the court."

She began. "My name is Dana Katherine Scully."

She proceeded to tell them all she knew, all she could in a way that could convince them, that could out the message into their heads in such a way that they could not deny any longer. She would die alongside Mulder if that was to be his fate. Once or twice, she looked back at him, trying to let his face take her back, so she could remember every single detail that he would if their places were reversed. And every now and then, Mulder would actually smile, as if nothing was wrong at all.

But they denied it all, she could see it, even if they didn't outright say she was wrong. They answered her with more questions. Questions to which the answers were irrelevant, futile.

And when the 'representative' of the opposition asked her about her relationship with Mulder and their son, she could have killed that son of a bitch.

As she walked out, giving a glance to Mulder, who tried to reassure the little he could, she had a thought.

_I'm becoming a Mulder..._

It would have been comical had the situation not been so serious. And if they had not been in a military court at that moment, she knew the two of them would have taken him out together. _If this was just an X file... _

How long had she gone on trying to tell Mulder to play by the rules a little more? And now, they weren't even allowed the luxury to go outside any kind of norm. There was too little space to use unconventional methods.

She thought of the body and several other things all at once. _Or was there? _

Hope glimmered a little bit, not too far off. She rubbed her eyes because she was weary and because she was about to cry. But still, for now, there was a tiny little bit of hope that Mulder might make it out alive.

_Oh please God, you know I don't have much to give, but please save him. Please save us both. Don't deny me that. _

She sat at home. Gibson, Doggett and Reyes all with her. Her hope was failing once again. She had tried to get the body herself, Monica and John had gotten for her and for a moment- just a moment- there was hope that it could save him. But they denied her of the right to give evidence. They denied Mulder the right to a fair trial, where the word of the witness is taken as truth, no matter what the stature of that person is. They had denied him to a judge who was unbiased, and they had denied him his right to the one thing Mulder needed more than anything in the world.

In her apartment, she wasn't alone. But she was. She waited for the decision of the unfair court, praying to God to give her Mulder back so that she wouldn't have to be alone. She didn't cry; she had no tears. But she had fear. Horrible fear and as her hope faded to a mere star in the distance, the phone rang, breaking that silence which was almost as terrifying to her as the situation itself.

John Doggett picked up the phone. He was hesitant to tell her what he had heard from the voice on the other side of the phone. And that tiny star, so far away, blew up. There was no hope. Mulder was as good as dead. There was no denying it.

William was gone. She would never see her son again. And now Mulder was going to die. And there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing at all. She couldn't suppress it anymore; she couldn't create any more false hope.

Before his death, Mulder was allowed to sleep. On the floor still, still dressed in orange. Even though he knew that the judges who had decided his fate knew that he was right. Maybe it was why they were treating him worse than before. It didn't matter. He was as good as dead anyway.

He had to praise Doggett and Reyes though- Reyes mostly. He was grateful to them for doing what they could and Reyes' speech had almost helped him significantly. It had left a mark. He knew it did. He would forever be thankful for her words, for the caring she had for Scully and for his son. He hoped that when he was gone, Scully would reach out to her.

Mulder curled up, trying to keep at least a little warm. He closed his eyes. In his mind, he tried to contact God. Not just the God he wasn't sure about. But a God that could be believed in, that was believed in. He tried to think of a way he could somehow make peace with that God, the one Scully believed in. But maybe, he was wrong to do that. Maybe, the truth was that both his God and Scully's God and the God of everyone else in the world were all the same.

_God, please protect Scully. Make her happy. Please give her the best life. The one she deserves. Let her have a full life, happy and fulfilled. I know there is anything I can give you now, except maybe getting out of the world so it can be normal again, but I really am sorry for all I have done. I'm sorry for ruining Scully's life, and causing her path to lead down a dark one that couldn't be controlled. I'm so sorry for all those deaths... for everything. If you can hear me now, God, please know that I am sorry, and that I am a guilty man, and I deserve the worst punishment for my crimes. But Scully is innocent- please protect and allow her happiness for that reason. And... Our son, oh God... our son. Protect him, oh please protect him and let him grow up to be all he can be. If you can grant me this, God, I'll be your personal slave in the afterlife. _

His last words were sincere, but slightly humorous. He wondered if God liked humour. He hoped so. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, pushing back the tears.

He was awakened by light, and for a moment, he wondered if the soldiers were back to give him another beating before he died. To see what he was thinking now, since they always seemed to be interested. He never thought he would be so relieved to hear the voice of John Doggett.

As they ran, ran for their lives, because by breaking him out of military prison, it made their lives forfeit as well, Mulder saw a glimmer of hope again. When he saw Kersh, he almost thought it was over- again. But then, Mulder had an epiphany. Maybe humans weren't as evil as he thought. Or maybe it was just Kersh. As Mulder realised that Kersh was helping him, he knew that it wasn't over. It couldn't be. How could he have given up when the truth was still out there?

The truth was still out there. Mulder still needed to know it. _God, I will never doubt you again, _he thought, the moment he saw Scully.

When she saw him was when she finally believed it was possible. She had wanted to believe so bad that they could save Mulder, but she just couldn't do it. It was hopeless, it was all over. When she saw him she still didn't believe for a moment. They had few words of goodbye to spare to those who remained behind. Mulder got in the driver's seat and Scully sat in the passenger's side. It was almost like old times. Except he was still wearing orange.

She thought of Kersh. For a man who had denied everything, who could have gone on forever denying that there was evil around him all the time, he had turned out better than Scully had ever expected, even when he was just an Assistant Director at the F.B.I. to her.

"What happens if we're caught, Mulder?" she asked, although she knew it was the stupidest possible question she could ask.

"We deny everything."

It was soon after that she realised they were going south, not north. She asked him why. He said it as normally as he could have said anything at any time during the course of the X files. "We're going to see a man about the truth."

A man who knew his policies: Deny Everything.

* * *


	5. Resist or Serve

The drive between their meeting with the Cancer Man and the motel in Roswell. (In the last episode)

Is short. Makes me sad... :( Please review though!!!!

**Resist or Serve: **

Mulder watched the road, watching it go by, with all its little cracks and imperfections. He glanced over at Scully, watching her sleep for just a moment. He tried to smile, but couldn't because he knew everything was his fault. Everything Scully had been through in the last nine years had been his fault. Mulder returned his eyes to the road. He kept driving, the silence leaving him with his torturing thoughts. After a while, they drove past a sign: "Roswell, 20 miles."

_How very apropos, _he thought bitterly. He sighed and continued up the road toward Roswell, New Mexico. Scully squirmed in her sleep, as if she was having a nightmare. Mulder glanced over, considered waking her up for a moment, and then decided against it. His mind was full of his own waking nightmares.

_On the 21 of December 2012, the world is going to end, _he thought sadly. _And what am I going to be doing? Hiding, that's what. Now that I'm a wanted man. _

"No," said a voice. He looked around, and nearly steered the car off the road. In the rear-view mirror he saw a face. He would recognise it anywhere, though it had been years since he had died. It was his father.

"No, what?" he asked.

"No. You will not hide when the time comes, Fox. You will not do what I did."

"And what's that?" he asked, though he had a feeling he knew the answer, somewhere in his soul.

"Fox, in this world, you can either resist or serve. I served, and you will not."

He continued to drive, still unsure of what to do. The dead were speaking to him and were wiser than he was. This he was sure of. All of them told him not to give up, but still he felt as though it was the only option. Bill Mulder remained silent. "What should I do then?" he asked.

"You will resist. Bring the truth to light. It's what you have always done, and you can't give up on that now."

"I wanted to believe," he said, his eyes never leaving the road. "Yes, I did. But look what it got me. I'm driving into Roswell, and there's no sign of a UFO."

"But what about her, Fox?" asked Bill, motioning to Scully. "What about your son? If you don't resist, you will be serving them and their purpose, and do you want them to die, and knowing that if you had resisted you might have prevented it?"

"And if I resist and they kill me, what will be preventing it then?"

"Your spirit."

He disappeared as they rolled into Roswell. Scully awoke and looked around, holding her head. "Are you alright?" asked Mulder.

"Headache," she said. "Mulder, I had the worst dream..."

He glanced at her and then returned his gaze to the road. "What's that?"

"I was dreaming that they were coming... they were coming for us and though I tried, I couldn't stop them... and..." She sighed and stopped speaking for a long moment, holding her head. "Never mind, Mulder. It was just a dream."

Mulder stared ahead at all the tiny imperfections in the road. "Yes..." he said quietly, almost too himself. "Just a dream."


	6. They're watching

Chapter Six: They're Watching

Mulder woke up suddenly, the dream echoing in his brain still. Tears were running down his face. He was in a cold sweat. He looked around wildly; sure that something was amiss, that something was wrong. Scully was there, right where she was as was everything else. Nothing had happened. He scratched his chin thoughtfully and went back to sleep.

_But the dream returned. They were all around him. Watching, pointing, doing tests. How vividly he remembered it in his dreams. But, he found that he wasn't strapped down. No... It was like... almost like he was there on his own free will, though that didn't alleviate the fear at all. As if suddenly having an epiphany, he made the wilful move to run; he took off, leaving them all behind him. All he felt was his mind racing with disgust with himself for being there of his own free will; for being there because he wanted to and because, although he remembered nothing from before the moment before, he had the feeling that he wanted it. He ran longer than should be possible- longer than was possible- unless... unless it was possible for him, because he was enhanced- a super soldier. No, he thought. Impossible. _

_He came to a cliff and nearly fell off, but caught himself before he went over. He looked out over the chasm, wondering what was on the other side feeling that, somehow, it was important. Maybe everything he needed to know what over there. All the answers he had been seeking... He began to take a step toward it, forgetting the endless pit below him. Suddenly, he saw his sister out there, looking back at him. She was floating above the chasm- of course she was floating. She was dead. _

"They watching, Fox_," she called back to him, her voice high pitched and somewhat distant and not her own even if it still held the undertones of the little eight year old he had last seen so many years ago over a game of Stratego. "_They're_-" _

_He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to run but before him, all these faceless men and women were staring back at him. Even though they didn't have eyes, he knew that they were watching. _

"Mulder! Mulder! Wake up!" He opened his eyes, and realised that he was already sitting up, his hands in the air. He was waving them around frantically, flailing. In front of him, reaching out to him with her hands on his shoulders was Scully, kneeling, trying to wake him. He gasped and lowered his arms and collapsed into hers. "Mulder, are you alright?" she asked.

He was silent for a long moment. "Yeah, I think so."

"What is it?"

He hesitated and then decided to proceed. They were alone in their own secluded home. Safe. _We are safe...right? _he thought. "I had a nightmare-"

"I could have guessed that much."

He smiled weakly along with the skeleton of a chuckle. Then his face grew dark again. "I dreamt about... I dreamt that they were doing tests on me... yes, tests. I was back in the place where I was when I was abducted. But, I felt, I felt... like it was good. Like I wanted the result of whatever it was that they were doing to me... until that moment when I was thrust into the dream... and I realised that I was disgusted with myself, with them and for whatever it that they were doing. So... so I ran. I ran... but I don't know if anyone followed... and then... I saw... a... a pit, a chasm with no end. There was an island on the other side. An island, I thought, where I might find out everything I wanted- or needed- or needed to know... and I began to walk toward it... but there was nothing under my feet. I knew it, but I started anyway until...until... my sister stopped me. And she told me..."

"They're watching."

"Yeah," he affirmed as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "They're watching."

"You were whispering it in your sleep... then almost screaming it."

"God, I'm sorry, Dana," he told her, rubbing his eyes again and slouching. He was feeling utterly paranoid. He looked around. "You don't suppose the house it bugged, do you? Do you think that maybe..."

Scully sighed. "Mulder, we checked. Remember? You check every day and every now and then, I help you. There's nothing here."

He nodded slowly. Of course, there was nothing there. Scully was the voice of reason here and there was nothing. They had checked. Thoroughly. Besides, his mind went on, if it were bugged, they would have come to get him already. But still, he had the feeling that he was being watched. Maybe it was just the effects of the trial, knowing that he was supposed to be dead by lethal injection by now, but he wasn't. Maybe it was the lifetime of looking for aliens and conspiracies, then being abducted, tested on and... changed. Had he been changed? He didn't know. He had no answers. He never did have any.

Maybe he was just downright paranoid. He sighed heavily. "You go back to sleep, Scully. I'm gonna get some water or something."

"Are you sure?"

He thought for a long moment. _No, _he thought. But his mouth spoke differently. "Yes, I'm sure." He kissed her. "Thank you. It must drive you insane to take care of a condemned crazy man every day."

She giggled a little and he felt better to hear it. "It's not all that bad," she answered.

"Well, that's a relief."

He got up to go to the kitchen.

How long had it been since the trial? A little over a year? Why were these dreams coming now? Was there someone watching? His mind still raced as he neared the refrigerator. He opened it and pulled out a chilled jug of water. As he went to set it down on the counter, he saw a face in the corner. He had to do a double take. But yes, he had indeed seen a face in the corner.

It was Samantha again. "They're watching, Fox."

He took a deep breath. "Who is watching?"

"Who do you think?" she asked. "Them." She pointed to the sky and looked upwards, worriedly. "They're _always _watching."

"How can I stop it?"

"You can't."

He rolled his eyes. "Great."

She smiled. The skeleton of a smile. "They're watching," she told him again and she disappeared.

He reached for a glass and poured himself some water. He chugged it in three swallows. Someone was watching. Who? Or, maybe, what? He sighed and closed his eyes, setting the glass down on the counter and returning the water jug to the fridge. _Why tell me if there's nothing I can do about it? _he wondered. Maybe he was a crazy man. In fact, he had little doubt that he was.

He returned to bed, where Scully had laid down, rolled over and was now breathing slowly and peacefully. He was sure that she wasn't asleep yet, but she seemed to have a certain amount of peace. Just after the trial, when they had escaped, Scully had had dreams, not too different from his own. Dreams where _they _were coming for them and she was helpless to stop them. Now, there seemed to be some peace. He climbed in under the covers and closed his eyes and hoped for some peace at least tonight.


End file.
